Giving Criticism: Tip #1

3 Oct

Tip:Think before you speak:

It is common for a giver of criticism to not always think through how best to deliver quality criticism so it is effective, and is received as intended.  This is especially the case when both givers and receivers are tired as in the case with Jessica and Todd. For example, let’s look at the following situation:

Jessica and Todd have been married for 3 years and have a 18-month old daughter.  Both Jessica and Todd have full time jobs. One evening when both are tired from a long day at work, Jessica asks Todd to give their daughter a bath while she finishes preparing dinner.  Todd responds, “I’ve worked all day, I’m tired! I really had a bad day”.  Jessica responds, “I have worked all day too. I don’t understand why you can’t help me out around here. You are so inconsiderate and selfish!” 

 

Jessica went from pleading with Todd to letting her emotions take over and criticized him by personally labeling him as “inconsiderate and selfish” which did not do much to make the evening pleasant or to inspire Todd to want to help her out.  

Jessica was upset and angry at Todd and let her emotions overpower what she said. If she would have thought first before blurting out what she may have felt at the moment, she would have handled the situation more effectively.

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